Potty training is a milestone for both toddlers and parents.
Add to that the pressure of (sometimes) having to take this step before starting preschool, and it's enough to overwhelm even the most sensible and patient parent.
As a Montessori teacher, mother of 3, and learning director at Monti Kids, I have guided many families through this process with a minimum of drama by drawing on the Montessori approach to potty training.
What is the Montessori approach?
In Montessori, we refer to this time in a child's life as "potty training," as a child will learn to use the potty through the natural acquisition of a skill such as crawling or walking.
As you talk to friends about this daunting challenge, you'll hear wildly different opinions on potty training a child.
For example, offering rewards is a commonly used tactic and can seem tempting. But rewards can distract from the learning process.
Rather than external rewards, the Montessori approach to potty training focuses on a child's intrinsic motivation and sense of pride that comes from taking responsibility for being able to use the toilet independently, in those moments in which to say "I did it myself".
Watching for cues is key
Every child has their own developmental path, so there's no magic age when you cross potty training off your to-do list. parental chores.
A key component of Montessori is child monitoring, so you'll want to watch your little one closely for physical and psychological signs of readiness.
Physical elements include safe walking, which means your child has the muscle control needed for potty training. You may also notice that he spends more time in a dry diaper.
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If he's psychologically ready, he may take an interest when other family members use the bathroom, tell you when he needs a diaper change, or seek privacy when he wants to poop.
Use child-sized items
It's ideal to set up your child's bathroom with a few child-sized items.
I recommend preparing your space ahead of time, while you're still in diapers, to allow time for the novelty of new items to wear off.
This space could include a urinal on the floor, extra underwear, baby wipes, a basket with several books, and a stool or faucet extender for independent handwashing.
Giving your child autonomy in the process will help encourage him to be a willing participant.
Get ready for the big day
Once you're ready to officially transition your little one and un-diaper there's no going back.
You will need to be consistent in your approach in order to avoid any confusion. If possible, find a weekend where you can stay close to home.
When your son wakes up that "big day," it's best to talk to him about changing from diapers to underwear.
I suggest offering him thick cotton clothes because they will be absorbent, but he may still feel wet if he doesn't reach the potty in time.
Then, for the next few days, let your child know that it's time to use the potty every hour or so.
Take note of when successes happen, and you'll start to see patterns emerge as your little one becomes comfortable with this new way of life.
When that inevitable peeing moment arrives, use it as a teachable moment to collaborate and talk.
The more natural this process can be, without shame or judgment, the less stressful and more productive it will be for the whole family.
Stacy Keane is the Head of Learning at Monti Kids. She finds more resources on the Montessori approach to potty training on the Monti Kids blog.
