As parents we are aware of the great responsibility we have to be the first educators of our children. It is our right to decide how to train them, always looking for their good and our duty to do so in a respectful manner. No other role or job is superior to this, they are the fullest way to transcend in the world: they are a part of us made a totally unique and independent person.
This writing does not seek to stir up feelings of guilt or ineptitude -which is common to have especially as parents- since human beings are not perfect nor will we be, but rather it aims to motivate us to set high goals because we are perfectible and it is our vocation. and responsibility to develop ourselves as people while we take care of our children and help them get the best out of themselves, all the potential they carry within.
Knowing the above, it is easy to recognize that, many times, in day-to-day setbacks and difficulties, we have lost our temper: we have scolded more or less, we have raised our voices or used our strength without wanting to do so, we have given some label or made a judgment that we regret, we have reacted with a gesture of disapproval that we could have avoided, or it may be that we have imposed a punishment out of place or out of proportion.
What can we do?
1.- First of all, apologize: state that we realize our mistake and emphasize that this does not mean that they are not loved or valued.
2.- Amend what was done or said: give a hug or a kiss, give a word of approval, share a moment together in some activity that strengthens the bond again.
3.- Learn from mistakes: we cannot give ourselves permission to repeat mistakes of this type, we must learn from them because they generate wounds that can accompany them throughout their lives.
4.- Know yourself and stop: when you realize that you are about to lose emotional control... stop and walk away. Find some way to balance what is happening in your inner world and come back when you have regained control.
5.- Remember that as you talk to your children, they will talk to themselves. Children follow in our footsteps and learn everything, so our words, gestures, actions will be repeated by them. Also, if you find yourself overwhelmed, most likely they will too.
For your children you are everything, you teach them how to see the world and how to relate to it and to themselves. That this new year we know how to value our maternity/paternity because we are the ones who give them the tools to be happy and competent, they are our reflection.
ebv
